✨ 90s Parenting VS Today, What’s Changed? ✨

What’s changed in parenting from the way you grew up to now?? Let me know in the comments! ⬇

When I became a parent, I started talking to people my age (30s) about parenting. I was astonished with my peers parenting style. I remember growing up in the 90s and being so free and independent. Today, there seems to be so many rules to follow, new trends, new ways to discipline your kids (or not!) and new norms.

I talked to my mom about how she raised us and also started researching parenting then vs now. This is a list of how parenting has changed just in my lifetime:

Ultrasounds/appointments

Ok a silly one but my mother and I both had twins. These days when pregnant with multiples, it’s stardard to have LOTS of ultrasounds and appointments to check on your babies. When I discussed this with my mom, she said she only had ONE ultrasound with my sister and I (twins). That was the first thing to blow my mind! It’s not just ultrasounds, doctors appointments for any pregnancy has really increased. Of course this is a good thing and makes us feel more taken care of!

Freedom to Roam

What I remember from my childhood was being sent outside unsupervised, with no boundaries. I would be dropped off at the pool to hang out with my friends or in town or simply told to ‘just go outside.’ Sure my mom would tell me when she’d pick me up, or when to come back inside but mostly we were free to roam wherever we wanted.

Today, parents tend to not let their kids out of their sight. This is more of a societal change, we’re more aware of the dangers out there with strangers. But I do miss those good ol days and wish my kids could experience it as well.

Intense Parenting Pressure

90s parents were not really expected to continuously involve themselves in enriching their kids' lives. It’s likely that pressure is increasing with access to the internet and tons of advice about how to best raise a kid. Plus IMO school is also getting more intense, kids are expected to know more and more when they start school.

After talking to my peers, I felt intense pressure! Constant questions I ask myself: Am I doing this right? What should I be doing with my babies right now? Am I allowed to take a break? Am I spending enough time with them? What should I be teaching my babies?

I mean the pressure is unreal!

Screentime

The American Academy of Pediatrics first recommended restricting screen time in 1984. However, growing up in the 90s, it hadn’t caught on yet.

I admit, my first tv had one station on the antenna and I could only watch the news or saved by the bell. But by the mid 90s, we had satellite tv! A plethora of unlimited channels and entertainment. And boy did we entertain ourselves! My sister, brother and I would watch hours and hours of tv.

Today alot more is known about screentime and the negative affects on learning for your little ones. It is very frowned upon to let your children watch hours of tv.

But for this one, I can’t help but think ‘then how did I turn out so well?’

Kids ‘seen but not heard’

Authoritative parenting was on the rise in the 90s. The hierarchy was Parents > children. There was strict discipline such as washing your mouth out with soap, the wooden spoon or a spanking here and there. You would at least get the raised voice if you were bad.

Trends like gentle parenting are todays parenting style. Staying calm, asking not demanding, offering choices, avoiding negative words, not raising your voice, etc. The hierarchy has switched to children > parents. Children’s feelings are being more validated and children are definitely being heard.

I haven’t decided the parent I want to be yet. I had a great childhood, and was raised to be respectful and courteous and I always obeyed (honestly I never got the harsh punishment because I wasn’t bad.) I like some aspects of the 90s parenting and some aspects of todays norms. I think I’ll eventually fall right in the middle!

What do you think! Do you feel the intense pressure of today’s parenting? Does gentle parenting work for you? Comment below! ⬇

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