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Before you come at me and say that Iโm proud of it. I actually am proud of myself for still working hard to finish my education.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐:
I struggled as a teen at the age of 14. I know many people are going to say โNormal education also canโt completeโ. Iโm truly disappointed in my past actions but I can only move forward from here. I started going to school on and off when I was 14 and wasted so much time.
When I was 14, my mental health started to get bad because of personal reasons. I remember how I would take the bus to school but would be too afraid to get down from the bus. I developed severe anxiety of school because of, again circumstances which I canโt share.
To me, working was okay as long as I didnโt have to face the people in school. The things they said about me and things Iโve encountered were horrifying. I met some great people in school too, that encouraged me. Unfortunately, Iโve let them down and theyโre no longer a part of my life.
When I was 16 I completely stopped going to school and worked all the way till Iโm 20. These years werenโt wasted though, I developed experiences for portfolios and even took courses like digital marketing.
๐๐จ๐ฐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐๐๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ ๐จ ๐๐๐๐ค ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฌ๐๐ก๐จ๐จ๐ฅ:
It was such a random thought honestly, โI kinda like studying actuallyโ. I just went to research how to take N levels privately and studied with whatever time I had left. Thankfully, I managed to get into ITE ๐ซถ I was quite happy with my results, I studied really hard but definitely could have done better.
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐:
The first day of school, teachers mentioned a few times about how people always say โitโs the endโ the moment they hear โITEโ. I was just excited to go to school ngl ๐ I understand that many people say things like these but at the end of the day, I GET TO STUDY YAY ๐.
๐ ๐ข๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐๐ฒ ๐จ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ก๐จ๐จ๐ฅ:
I was so nervous but excited, I havenโt made in person friends for so long(I was like a caveman). I remember the first day, I was overthinking so much.
โWhat if I get bulliedโ
โWhat if they hate meโ
โWhat if Iโm not good enoughโ
โWhat if people make fun of me for my ageโ
These thoughts circulated my brain the whole first week of school.
I remember the first day when I got to class, I sat at a random seat. Keep in mind I havenโt talked to another human being in so long. Someone sat beside me and all I could think about is โwhere did my social skills goโ. At that point I still had severe anxiety of school so it was hard to communicate normally. I was actually shaking. So I tried to communicate with that someone with my phone notes app. โHey, what was the teacherโs nameโ
He just answered me normally and we went on about with our day.
2 months later, he became one of my best friends in school and I reminded him of this experience. He told me how afraid he was because he thought that I couldnโt talk and was going to pull out hand signs.
It was quite hard to make friends, so I sat in the washroom stall until break ended. I had a panic attack and called my dad. He was so worried but encouraged me to try my best to go along with the day.
After 2 months, I finally settled down and got used to going to school and Iโm actually so happy about it. I DID IT!
๐๐๐ฌ ๐ข๐ญ ๐ก๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ :
It was hard to get used to going to school 5 days a week again. I actually slipped up a few times because I was so tired from work. Thankfully, I work from home now. Itโs much easier to manage. Iโm not earning as much as when I wasnโt schooling but Iโm happy to be able to continue my studies.
๐๐ข๐๐๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ฉ๐๐ญ๐ก:
If I could turn back time, I would definitely choose to study properly. By now I would probably be in Uni but itโs too late to regret now. Iโm glad that I chose to go back to school. My CA(class advisor) is also very encouraging โบ๏ธ THANK GOD.
๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐:
I know itโs not easy to go through a different path. I have made many mistakes in this path but I believe that whatever path you choose, as long as youโre happy and your mental health is WELL. Thatโs all that matters.
GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!!!โค๏ธโค๏ธ
(THANK YOU all for your kind words , it really warms my heart to see so many nice people โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ)
#storytime #dropout #school #mentalhealth #GirlTalk #RealTalk #singapore #ite