why your bf isn’t opening up to you

getting guys to open up about their thoughts and feelings can be hard. of course, this can be true for women as well (believe me, i use to be very closed off), but a lot of guys have been raised in a world where emotions are seen as weakness and many guys haven’t ever opened up to anyone.

understandably, this lack of openness can often leave anyone dating them starved for emotional connection. which begs the questions:

how do you get your boyfriend to be more open???

➡️ create the right environment

if find that less confrontational environments are easier to be open in. going for a drive, a walk or cooking together are perfect for this. there are no mental distractions, but you aren’t just sitting and starting at each other. gentle physical touch like holding hands or a light touch on the shoulder can create an even more comfortable environment.

➡️ stop pressuring him

if you’re only a few months into your relationship, it’s likely that your partner hasn’t gotten comfortable enough to tell you their deepest, darkest thoughts. i’ve been when my husband for 5 years and theirs still childhood traumas we haven’t fully unpacked. trust takes time!

➡️ listen to understand

when your partner does open up, really listen! repeat back to them what you are hearing them say and ask if you’re understanding correctly.

➡️ share, but don’t overshare

when your partner isn’t sharing, it can be tempting to start oversharing to get them to open up. this won’t work. they will just feel like are drowning in your emotions and not feel safe to share their own. instead, slowly open up as you build mutual trust.

➡️ he’s not the right guy

be cautious that you don’t spend so much time trying to get him to open up that you overlook the fact that you can’t be yourself around him. does he listen when you open up? can he be trusted with the darkest parts of your soul? if not, you’ll never be able to build the trust you need for a healthy relationship.

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