Self-realization is the golden key 🔑

Gotten comments & DMs about how the healing journey went after the passing of both parents that weren’t the best. I must add that my method is quite crazy because I always thought about the saying “girls are more emotional, boys are more logical” and I didn’t wanna believe that I, as a girl, cannot make decisions base off logic. From there, I strive to balance the mind and heart (maybe that’s why I sit on things for too long) but it’s needed, and boys can be emotional too.

I believe I was influenced under the tireless masculinity coming from my mother who was the breadwinner of the family, fulfilling both the roles of mother and father.

She said things like:

>> If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say.

>> Don’t just say what comes to your mind, always think through, or else you no friends.

>> Dunno anything, ask. (This behaviour of mine irritated the heck out of a childcare teacher that she told me to shut up and called me stupid - hello aunty, we got no access to google back then and aren’t you a teacher for a reason? 🫠)

>> Always prepare everything ahead/the night before.

>> Remember to use your brain. Always think about the consequences of your actions.

Eldest daughter things… have to pump some EQ or else my frank replies will offend others 🙃 Like telling my grandma to chop her leg off since she was whining about how painful her athritis was when I was a kindergatener 🫠 

Hence, I grew up thinking a looot, I didn’t know that self-psycho actually has its perks and it turned into overthinking. When you have too much thoughts, it needs to go, so journalling it is.

Here are some of my prompts:

• What is my purpose here on earth?

• What did (that person) do to me? (Starting from the worst.)

• Why did s/he treat me this way? (Put yourself in their shoes.)

• Why did I behave that way?

• If I could go back in time, how will I react/do it differently?

• If I encounter the similar situation again, I will (your methods).

^ Your methods should be FOR Yourself, your happiness, not for others (bad e.g. I will meet my bf every time he asks me to.)

It’s very important to tell yourself here’s the list that is gonna help become the better version of yourself. Loving yourself harder than you ever did. It’s ok to be selfish sometimes.

Take as much time as you need in undoing your old ways, confronting your triggers etc. Don’t be afraid to leave when the situation no longer serves you. Keep prioritizing your emotional and mental health.

The journey on self-realization may be rough but as we all know, tough times don’t last, tough people do.

This was my constant “wait, take a step back and ask the what, why and how” and “what’s next?” I did this daily for years and now when life gets busy, I get it done when I can finally sit in a quiet space, do some breathing techniques and write. Gotta put things into action towards self-actualization at the same time y’know 🥹

Always be strong, and stay strong.

P/S: I have erratic handwriting base off my moods, it’s all about letting loose and spilling whatever that comes to mind. I admit my grammar can be cui at times.

#RealTalk #MentalHealth