Had sex? Read this ❤️

Have a read at this even though you feel that you may have a healthy sex life. 💦 Sex is a scary thing and it is a beautiful thing - it all depends on who you do it with and your mindset towards it. I have never enjoyed sex until i meet my current partner of 5 years and i can say we have a healthy sex life. After receiving the best, you look back and start to see all the red flags a guy have. HAH, #NotForMe

❗️These are things that highly determines how he’s going to treat you in your relationship, not just sexually. Trust me on this because tried and tested i guess! Read on for a sex life #glowup

❗️❗️(Disclaimer: Whatever i said here applies to a manipulative partner of all genders. You can also switch out the “guy” part to a girl or whoever, but im using guy because it easier to explain my POV. Also my target audience for this is women, if it reaches more, great!) ❗️❗️

♥️ 1. A partner who loves you will NOT force you have sex with them. (including guilt tripping)

This is the number one thing you should look out for. If he really really loves you, he will not try to force or manipulate his way into having sex with you. Having sex is a two way thing, both partners should consent to it. “If you love me, you will have sex with me”, “I thought you wanted to show me how much you love me?”, “You dont love me enough?” etc etc are just very generic things you shouldn’t hear from a loving partner. If you are not ready, you are NOT READY. 💀 Even for couples who already had sex, if you dont feel like it that day, your partner ought to understand and not SULK about it. If he sulks and guilt-trip you, LEAVE. Trust. This already shows how much you mean to them; you’re just someone who’s convenient for their sexual relief. 😵‍💫

♥️ 2. A partner who respects your body will not body shame you.

Your partner should love your body for how you are. He will not body shame you. “why is your __ looking ___” or some weird shit i can’t think of. There’s no doubt that everyone has an “ideal” body type. But if your partner loves you, your body type is the best they can have currently. Of course, if you know that you want to work on yourself, then go work on it. Don’t be something you dislike and expect your partner to love you too. Basically, get someone who is supportive of you and accepting of your body. If they don’t, leave. You don’t owe them an answer to how your body looks. 🫡

♥️ 3. A partner who loves you will make sure you get a good sex too.

The female pleasure is as important as the male pleasure. You ever seen those movies where the couple has sex and the guy finishes first, then proceed to clean himself up while the girl just lay there in .. whatever they are feeling? The girl did not even finish!! How is that sex? I mean, not all women want to finish off, but im saying it generically. A women usually takes awhile longer as compared to a man (really depends tbh). A partner who loves you will make sure you get that exact pleasure they did too, well unless you dont want it then it’s fine. Remember, you are as important, you are not a tool for sex.

♥️ 4. A good partner respects your wishes

You dont want him to do a certain act? okay. You dont feel like having sex that day? okay. I mean, it really depends on your relationship dynamic. Dont go thinking like “Oh i want sex but he dont feel like having it. He’s not respecting my wishes. He’s an ass, he’s a red flag” Girl, you’re the red flag here. 👌🏼 Being a good partner definitely means respecting the other partner’s wishes in a morally upright way. Makes sense?

♥️ 5. A good partner will not share anything about your sex life with their friends.

Sex is private, well unless you are in open relationship or something, but its still private right! Your partner should keep comments about sex with you private. I mean honestly, sometimes talking about sex is inevitable amongst friends. There are some things you can share but not all. 👥 A mature partner will know what to say and what not to say, especially not in a way that degrades you. I have close friends where we share experiences about the body just to learn or for laughs (but take note we are super duper close and this only happens when all said partners are present) A good partner will respect you in the things they say too.

♥️ 6. A good partner takes care of your well-being after sex.

He checks in on you and your mental state. If you’re feeling good and happy, great! If not you guys should sit and have a talk about it. A good partner will always check in on your feelings during and after. 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

So here are some things I’ve learnt and i feel are important for couples who are intending to have sex/ already had sex. This applies to one night stands/flings too. You ought to be respected during and after sex. Not all red flags can be seen immediately. Sometimes even if you see them, you tend to ignore it. I mean, you do you, but best to get yourself what you deserve. 👀👀

I was contemplating about this post because of reasons.. omg so scary HAHA if my younger cousins sees these, have a good read!

#lifestylesg #bedroom #LoveMyself #GlowUp #lemon8singapore #Lemon8Lifestyle

#CelebrateWomen