Life as a Hypochondriac (it’s not easy)

“It’s all in your head.” / “Why do you keep worrying? You are gonna be fine” were the common phrases I heard from my family and friends. They tried their best to calm my anxious thoughts down but they persisted. It’s time to #BeReal with it and document my life as a hypochondriac.

A hypochondriac is someone who consistently worries about having a serious illness. This condition, often known as Health Anxiety, involves a preoccupation with physical health and an intense fear of having or developing a medical condition, despite medical reassurance and a lack of significant symptoms.

You may be having a headache but you’re thinking about a brain tumor or brain cancer. A stomachache may get you thinking about stomach cancer.

🙋🏻‍♂️Life as a Hypochondriac

It was awful. Recently, I had been battling with gastric pain and lack of appetite. Within a month, I lost 7kg. I immediately started panicking and researching on Google the possible illness I may be having at the moment. I thought the worse of the worse - stomach cancer or even a gallbladder disease since the doctor told me I probably had a mild case of gastritis. I read up a lot on gastritis and realized that the symptoms I had matched with at least 70% from the list of gastritis symptoms - not even knowing that they are all due to me overthinking and the intense research I did on the internet. I was basically brainwashed by the internet.

Every day was a living hell for me. The intense bloatedness and nausea caused me to feel anxious and depressed. Anxious in terms of the fear of throwing up. I remember heading back to work feeling extremely moody, weak and pale.

In the month of April, I went to see the doctor 3 times. All 3 doctors mentioned about gastritis but yet no blood tests or scans were done. Really assuming that I have gastritis, I managed my diet very carefully. I cut out on oily and fried food and ate vegetables every day - which explained my weight loss.

However, poor me thought weight loss was because of a bigger issue and in the month of May, again I went to see the doctor 3 times. The doctor finally told me to go for a blood test. However, she said that the blood tests are for Liver, Kidney and Thyroid functions. No Vitamin B12 or Iron tests? Again, I read online that people with gastritis have problem absorbing B12 and iron, which explains why at times they are anemic (Which I believed I have at points in time)

Fortunately, the blood test results for my kidney and liver functions were all normal. However, the doctor explained that I had a mild case of Hyperthyroidism in which the thyroid glands are producing a slightly higher amount of thyroid, causing me to feel anxious/nervous.

I’ve also learnt about the gut-brain connection. If your brain is affected, same goes for your gut health. This explained clearly why I was feeling bloated and nauseous every time. It’s really all in my head.

It’s June and today, I confidently cancelled my gastroenterology appointment (this Friday) because I know that I’m stronger than whatever that is going on in my stomach. I know if I stop thinking negatively and avoid all the Googling of symptoms, I’m perfectly fine.

In total over the past 3 months, I went to see the doctor at least 9-10 times just to feel reassured that nothing is really going wrong. Doctors after doctors.

I know the pathway to healing is still very long for me. If I have the opportunity to share my experience with a psychologist, it’ll be even better so that I can learn more ways to manage my feelings when I’m overthinking about my health again.

🍋Thank you readers for staying until the end of this post with me. Cheers and have a great week ahead!

#RealTalk #MyLemon8Diary #MyLemon8Journey #Lemon8SG #mentalhealth #depression #hypochondriac #Adulting101 #JournalWithMe